Boosting Your Self-Esteem, Part One

One thing that holds me back in life is my low self-esteem. I’m sure that many of you can relate to feeling this way at least some time in your life. It’s an awful feeling to doubt yourself. Low self-esteem will affect every aspect of your life, from relationships to work to your health and more. You can’t truly enjoy life until you feel good about yourself. Knowing this has made me more determined to improve my own opinion of myself, and I’ve been seeking ways to do so.

I’m going to share some of the things I’ve learned can help you improve your self-esteem. I can’t truthfully say that I follow all of these myself, but I am trying to. High self-esteem isn’t something that comes quickly or easily, but it is something I can achieve, and I can only achieve it by myself. One of the first things you have to realize about self-esteem is that it comes from within - no one else can tell you how to feel about yourself.

Keep Your Expectations in Check

You can begin to boost your self-esteem by taking a close look at the expectations you have for yourself. If you are setting unrealistic goals, then you will feel bad about yourself when you fall short of them. If you set smaller, more attainable goals, you’ll flip things around and will feel better about yourself for reaching them. Some questions to ask yourself about the goals you set are: Would I have the same expectations of a friend in the same position as me? and Does anyone else have these expectations of me? If not, why do I?

Another tip to keep your expectations in check is to eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary. Don’t tell yourself that you “should” be doing anything. Catch yourself when you say it, and change it from “This is something I should be doing” to “This is something I would like to be doing.” Then realize that just because you would like to do something does not mean you’ll be able to do it in exactly that way.

Give Yourself Credit

You may not always be happy with yourself, but you need to give yourself a little more credit. It’s often too easy to see the bad. When you look back on something, don’t let the mistakes you think you made be what stands out. Look at the same situation and give yourself credit for the things you accomplished. For people in recovery, this is huge. Stop focusing on your past and feeling guilty or bad about yourself because of your addiction. Feel good about yourself for changing your life. Battling addiction is NOT easy by any means. Take a moment to really credit yourself with the effort you gave to quit using or drinking (and they effort you’re still giving to stay in recovery) - it is significant and a reason to feel really good about yourself and what you can accomplish.

I’m going to write more on the topic of boosting your self-esteem, because I think it’s vital to a healthy recovery and happy life. In the meantime, please leave your thoughts on the things YOU do to boost your self-esteem!

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store).