Boosting Your Self-Esteem, Part Two

Continuing with yesterday’s theme, here are some more thoughts on ways that you can boost your self-esteem. 

Accept Compliments

When you receive a compliment from someone, say, “Thank you,” and nothing else. Don’t say anything like, “Thanks, but I don’t think so,” or “Thank you, but it’s not that great,” etc. When you do that, you’re telling yourself that you don’t deserve the compliment. Instead, try to remember that most people don’t make compliments unless they truly believe them. The person who just complimented you believes what they just said. Again you need to question your own line of reasoning and ask yourself, If they believe it, why can’t I? And when you hear the same compliment more than once, you should have even more reassurance that it’s true. 

Don’t Compare Yourself to Anyone Else

Something I often do is compare myself to others. I judge myself against what I see in someone else, which isn’t fair at all and doesn’t even make sense. NO ONE is the same as you or has the same life as you, so there is never a way to make an equal comparison. Feeling bad about yourself because of comparisons you make against others is a horrible way to go through life. You are a unique person who lives a unique life, and you should embrace that.

Know Your Own Positives, Priorities, and Principles

If you don’t know who you really are, feeling good about yourself is very difficult. List all of the good qualities you see in yourself (no less than 20 - trust me, you can come up with that many if you challenge yourself) so that you know all the positive things you have to offer. Next, list your priorities in life. What is really most important to you in life? When your priorities are clear and you’re focused on them, you’ll feel better about yourself. Finally, list the principles you want to live by in life. For example, honesty, kindness, equality, etc. Stay true to your principles in everything you do, and you can be proud of yourself for living in the way you think is admirable. 

Purge Your “Toxic” Friends

In the same way that no one else can make you feel good about yourself, no one else should be allowed to make you feel bad about yourself, either. It’s much harder to ignore the negativity of others, and it’s easy to internalize outside criticism. Recognize the people who do or say things that make you feel bad about yourself, and cut them out of your life. If you can’t totally avoid them (i.e. a co-worker), limit your interactions with them as much as possible. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and who make you feel good about yourself. 

If you have any tips or thoughts to add, please do so in the comment section! If you’ve gone from feeling bad about yourself to having a positive self-image, I’d love to hear how you got there!

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store).