Celebrate Your Gratitude - All Year Long

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and that makes me pretty much obligated to write a post on the topic of “giving thanks.” When I think about the Thanksgiving holiday, I think about gratitude. It’s the one day of the year when we’re specifically encouraged to be grateful. We’re supposed to spend special time with our family and loved ones while recognizing the positive impact they have in our lives. We’re reminded to “count our blessings.”

Personally, I think gratitude should be an integral part of everyone’s daily lives. We should strive to be grateful all the time and not only on a holiday. In the recovery community in particular, gratitude is something that’s stressed a lot, but it’s something that applies to everyone.

We need to be thankful for the positive things in our lives because it’s how we stay positive and on the right track (whether in recovery or not). Gratitude helps us appreciate life and stay grounded in our recovery; it reminds us how much better our lives are in recovery than they ever were before. And all of that helps us to avoid relapse and to be happy, productive members of society.

I always thought the concept of a gratitude journal sounded really cheesy - until I tried it for myself. It might not sound appealing to you either, but I would encourage everyone to give it a try for at least a week. A gratitude journal (i.e. a notebook or Word document) is a place for you to record at least one thing you’re grateful for every night. You could write about something very significant, like your friends, or you could write about something in particular that happened to you during the day, such as receiving a compliment from a stranger or catching the sunset. You can be vague or provide detailed descriptions - whatever you write it is up to you.

I’ll give you an example of what my gratitude journal is like.

When I started it, I wrote a list of the things I am most grateful for in life, which included my son, my family, my friends, our health, my recovery, a place to live, a good car, a job that I enjoy, and nature.

Yesterday, I wrote: Today I was grateful for the support of my father, the happiness of my son, the fact that the rain storm wasn’t as bad as expected, and my boyfriend.

My gratitude journal is a pick-me-up for anytime I’m feeling down. Reading it reminds me of all the positive things in my life even when the negatives seem overwhelming. Just the simple act of writing a few sentences in it every night has improved my overall mood and outlook on life. As someone who struggles with depression, it’s been a very helpful tool for me.

A gratitude journal is so simple, but also so powerful. What do you think about giving it a try? Does anyone keep a gratitude journal already? If you don’t want to keep a daily journal, try writing a “master list” of things you’re grateful for so that you have something to read when you need some uplifting. I’d love if you would share some of the things you’re grateful for today in the comment section. I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store). 

Finding True Deliverance in the Mouth of the Beast

I apologize for not updating more recently. I've been dealing with some health issues. All is well - I just needed some extra time to take care of a few things. Look for new posts from me in the next few days. 

For your reading pleasure, here is an awesome guest post written by Sober Nation writer Tim Powers! Enjoy! Let us know what you think in the comments!

Finding True Deliverance in the Mouth of the Beast

When an individual is about the leave rehab, a halfway house, or a similar form of sober living and enters the jungle that can be the real world uncertainty and doubt is often at the forefront.  Leaving the comforting womb of structure, support, and stability and entering the visceral maw of day-to-day living can rub at the seams of one’s sanity threaten to tear asunder the framework built upon the foundations of pain, sweat, revelation and rediscovery.  Jumping back into the fray with both feet is the common response after being out of the game.  However, that tunnel vision mentality often has undone the fragile eggshell constitution of the newly sober.

Staying true in recovery in real time involves being aware of feelings and recognizing them for what they are.  It is alright to feel thoughts of wanting to use…it is normal.   One can’t erase those poisoned years overnight.  It takes time to slow down your thought processes enough to realize those voices one hears are compelling someone to dwell on the revisionist history of their past.  Those voices whisper only about the highest of times and leave out the debris the bad decisions left in its wake.

Staying true in recovery is finding voice to those feelings and finding healthy ways to express those feelings.  It can be finding a twelve-step meeting and sharing those feelings in real time.  It can be finding a creative outlet like music.  It can be transforming the physical being through exercise or transforming the mental being through spirituality.  Addiction wants one to internalize emotion and remain silent in the facing of obstacles in recovery.  Finding healthy ways to externalize those thoughts and feelings promotes healing.

Staying true in recovery is realizing those things learned in rehab and the halfway houses are tools in the proverbial toolkit that need to be utilized to unlock knowledge and confidence.  Recovery is holistic and requires some form of nourishment in order to progress.  Working a program and getting a sponsor, finding people who are strong in recovery and replacing bad influences with positive ones.  It isn’t just about plugging the jug…it is about changing the mindset, the people and places.

Staying true in recovery means that recovery is understood as a journey and not a destination.  With each day that passes one discovers new things about themselves no matter how small or sublime it may be.  The very act of recognizing those small revelations opens new doors to awareness.  Some days will be good and some won’t be so good, and that is OK.  As long as one moves forward (even if it is baby steps) it is a victory.  One day at a time…staying true to your sober self from the time one wakes up to the time one lays their head down…that is the true key.  

Tim Powers – bald, tattooed, a business professional by day and rocker by night. Sober by the grace of God since the 8th of May in the year of our Lord 2003. Sharing my stories and myself in order to pay it forward. You can follow me on Twitter @tpowersbass42

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store). 

The Stigma of Addiction

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the stigma of addiction. For people who don’t truly understand the disease, “addiction” is considered a very negative mark on someone’s personality. The worst misunderstanding is that addicts aren’t good people. That misunderstanding is why there’s so much shame and secrecy in the recovery community. We don’t want to be labeled “addicts.”

I am an addict. I hate the label (and labels of any sort), but it’s true, and I’m still uncomfortable with people knowing so. I always worry what people will think if they find out that I’m in recovery, and it’s a fear that I’ve had to face a lot in the past three years. Fortunately, I’ve never had a bad experience with anyone finding out (knock on wood). I still worry that some people see me differently, but if they do, I haven’t had to directly face any ill will because of it.

However, I don’t think that’s because everyone is understanding and knowledgeable about the disease. Several times I’ve actually faced the stigma of addiction in a different way than I expected: Some people who have only known me after my active addiction think that I must be exaggerating my claim of being in recovery - that because I’m such a good person now and appear so put together, I can’t actually be a real addict.

When I get that reaction from people, I tread lightly. I try to take advantage of the opportunity to debunk the stigma of addiction for them, but I’m also careful not to bash myself too much. “No, really, I USED to be a horrible person! But I was only such a horrible person because of my DISEASE. You know I’m a good person, right? Well, that’s the REAL me. But I promise you, I am your typical addict; I used to do some terrible shit! Let’s not get into that… just trust me! I was bad!”

It’s almost funny to me, but then it makes me sad. Hopefully, by putting myself out there, I can make a small difference in the way some people view the disease of addiction. In my case, I’m also very open (oftentimes more so) about my depression. Mental illness of any kind is terribly misunderstood. I want people to see it for what it is - a sickness, just like any other sickness.

Everyone needs to understand the disease of addiction because it is a fatal disease. All the addicts who are too ashamed to admit their condition have their lives at even greater risk. In recovery, we should be able to tell the people close to us about our addiction without fear of repercussion, because if we can’t, we have less of the support that’s so crucial for avoiding relapse. If addiction stops carrying such a negative connotation, we can move from being ashamed of our pasts to being proud of ourselves for our strength in the face of disease.   

I’m curious to hear what the readers of Sober Nation have to say about the stigma of addiction and their experiences with it. What do you think?

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store). 

Boosting Your Self-Esteem, Part Two

Continuing with yesterday’s theme, here are some more thoughts on ways that you can boost your self-esteem. 

Accept Compliments

When you receive a compliment from someone, say, “Thank you,” and nothing else. Don’t say anything like, “Thanks, but I don’t think so,” or “Thank you, but it’s not that great,” etc. When you do that, you’re telling yourself that you don’t deserve the compliment. Instead, try to remember that most people don’t make compliments unless they truly believe them. The person who just complimented you believes what they just said. Again you need to question your own line of reasoning and ask yourself, If they believe it, why can’t I? And when you hear the same compliment more than once, you should have even more reassurance that it’s true. 

Don’t Compare Yourself to Anyone Else

Something I often do is compare myself to others. I judge myself against what I see in someone else, which isn’t fair at all and doesn’t even make sense. NO ONE is the same as you or has the same life as you, so there is never a way to make an equal comparison. Feeling bad about yourself because of comparisons you make against others is a horrible way to go through life. You are a unique person who lives a unique life, and you should embrace that.

Know Your Own Positives, Priorities, and Principles

If you don’t know who you really are, feeling good about yourself is very difficult. List all of the good qualities you see in yourself (no less than 20 - trust me, you can come up with that many if you challenge yourself) so that you know all the positive things you have to offer. Next, list your priorities in life. What is really most important to you in life? When your priorities are clear and you’re focused on them, you’ll feel better about yourself. Finally, list the principles you want to live by in life. For example, honesty, kindness, equality, etc. Stay true to your principles in everything you do, and you can be proud of yourself for living in the way you think is admirable. 

Purge Your “Toxic” Friends

In the same way that no one else can make you feel good about yourself, no one else should be allowed to make you feel bad about yourself, either. It’s much harder to ignore the negativity of others, and it’s easy to internalize outside criticism. Recognize the people who do or say things that make you feel bad about yourself, and cut them out of your life. If you can’t totally avoid them (i.e. a co-worker), limit your interactions with them as much as possible. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and who make you feel good about yourself. 

If you have any tips or thoughts to add, please do so in the comment section! If you’ve gone from feeling bad about yourself to having a positive self-image, I’d love to hear how you got there!

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store). 

Boosting Your Self-Esteem, Part One

One thing that holds me back in life is my low self-esteem. I’m sure that many of you can relate to feeling this way at least some time in your life. It’s an awful feeling to doubt yourself. Low self-esteem will affect every aspect of your life, from relationships to work to your health and more. You can’t truly enjoy life until you feel good about yourself. Knowing this has made me more determined to improve my own opinion of myself, and I’ve been seeking ways to do so.

I’m going to share some of the things I’ve learned can help you improve your self-esteem. I can’t truthfully say that I follow all of these myself, but I am trying to. High self-esteem isn’t something that comes quickly or easily, but it is something I can achieve, and I can only achieve it by myself. One of the first things you have to realize about self-esteem is that it comes from within - no one else can tell you how to feel about yourself.

Keep Your Expectations in Check

You can begin to boost your self-esteem by taking a close look at the expectations you have for yourself. If you are setting unrealistic goals, then you will feel bad about yourself when you fall short of them. If you set smaller, more attainable goals, you’ll flip things around and will feel better about yourself for reaching them. Some questions to ask yourself about the goals you set are: Would I have the same expectations of a friend in the same position as me? and Does anyone else have these expectations of me? If not, why do I?

Another tip to keep your expectations in check is to eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary. Don’t tell yourself that you “should” be doing anything. Catch yourself when you say it, and change it from “This is something I should be doing” to “This is something I would like to be doing.” Then realize that just because you would like to do something does not mean you’ll be able to do it in exactly that way.

Give Yourself Credit

You may not always be happy with yourself, but you need to give yourself a little more credit. It’s often too easy to see the bad. When you look back on something, don’t let the mistakes you think you made be what stands out. Look at the same situation and give yourself credit for the things you accomplished. For people in recovery, this is huge. Stop focusing on your past and feeling guilty or bad about yourself because of your addiction. Feel good about yourself for changing your life. Battling addiction is NOT easy by any means. Take a moment to really credit yourself with the effort you gave to quit using or drinking (and they effort you’re still giving to stay in recovery) - it is significant and a reason to feel really good about yourself and what you can accomplish.

I’m going to write more on the topic of boosting your self-esteem, because I think it’s vital to a healthy recovery and happy life. In the meantime, please leave your thoughts on the things YOU do to boost your self-esteem!

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store).