Young People In Recovery

Young and Sober

As society continues to shed light on the disease of addiction more and more people are getting sober at a young age. Many come into sobriety not sure if they are finished using or if its even worth it to stay sober. But, numerous people stay after experiencing the benefits of recovery.

Why get sober young?

These are some of the benefits of getting sober young.

-Save Money: depending on your drug of choice you could be spending from 70-300$ a week on a substance. That's $3640 to $15,600 a year, and $36,400 to $156,000 over a decade.

-Improve Relationships: Alcohol and drugs can often make you unreliable and not very nice to be around. When clean and sober you can make new healthy relationships not based around a substance. You can improve relationships with people you care about that you might of neglected in the past. You can be a functioning member of society and be there when family and friends need you.

-Longer Life: Statistics show that a non-alcoholic/drug addict will live 10-20 years longer than an active alcoholic/drug addict.

-Health Benefits: When not abusing substances you feel better. No more hangovers. You don't feel incomplete when you don't have that substance.

-Stress/Emotions: You now can actually deal with problems head on instead of running from them. You're able to feel emotions and feel real joy when things get good.

-Community: When recovering from alcoholism/addiction people often go to fellowships such as Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, ..etc. When in these fellowships you can develop support groups that will help you get through any problem you might face in recovery. You find true friends that will be there through thick and thin and most likely, you'll get a chance to help them and the problems they face.

-Find Yourself: When under the influence of a substance aspects of your personality are often accentuated that wouldn't be when sober. Alcohol and drugs often hide who you really are and when you enter recovery you get to find out more about yourself. You also tend to find a path and purpose to life.

Sky's the Limit

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.

-Craig Ferguson

Benefits of Sobriety

Articles talking about the benefits of sobriety.

What are the Benefits of Quitting Drinking and Making it to 30 Days Sober?

Screedler's Top Five Benefits of Getting Sober

What Are the Benefits of Being Sober?

The Benefits of Being Sober

Young People in Recovery

This is a story about a young woman who got sober when 17 and has been sober for 5 years. She describes her view on her being young in recovery.

What can you do when you're young and sober?

Alot of young people get sober and don't know what to do with themselves. All their fun has been based around a substance for the last few years of their life. They can't imagine re-experiencing the fun that they had while using.

However, when people actually go out and attempt to have fun in sobriety they often realize that their party days weren't actually that fun. It usually turned out to be one big alcohol/drug influenced blur. In sobriety you can actually experience things. Many people fall victim to the idea that you can't do the same things in sobriety that you did while drinking. False. You can do whatever you want in sobriety; you just may not WANT to do the same things you did while drinking.

-Go to a concert/live show: Many people went to concerts and shows when they were under the influence and most likely forgot about the best parts or even the whole concert. Try going to a concert while sober; you actually get to remember the WHOLE thing. After all, why would you pay for something that you're going to forget the next day?

-Start a hobby: Every time I started a hobby while in active addiction I would never finish it. I've probably started close to 50 different activities/hobbies and continued...2,3? But, in sobriety if you want to do something you can do it. Do something you've always wanted to do. Become a musician, painter, activist, chef...etc.

-Physical Activity: When using, the substance often gets in the way of getting in shape. Many promises are formed and then almost always immediately broken. "I'll drink tonight and then go to the gym tomorrow." Fortunately for you, or unfortunately for you, when sober, drugs no longer suffice as an excuse to not do something. Go hiking. Go to the gym. Set your sights on running a triathlon. Well, maybe start slow, try setting your sights on a 5k.

-Go to a club: Like I stated earlier, just because you're sober doesn't mean you can't do the things you did while drinking. Go to a club. You went to a club drunk? You can go to a club sober. WARNING, it might not be the same experience you had while drinking. I've done it. I ended up just laughing at all the drunken nonsense that goes down in a club. But, I still had fun.

-Go on a date: Relationships in active addiction are usually a mess. Lots of co-dependency, jealousy, insecurity, and drama. Now that you're sober you actually have a chance at a healthy relationship. Take advantage of that. At first it will probably be awkward and maybe a little frustrating. However, if you find a good partner, all that trial and error will be worth it. Having a healthy relationship with someone you care about is a great experience.

-Travel: Many times addicts/alcoholics don't like to travel because they're worried about having access to their substance of choice. But, now that you're sober and don't have substances tying you down, you can go anywhere you please! Explore the world. This world is huge. It's much bigger than the basement or town you've been getting high in.

Things will be different.

"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus."

-Ozzy Osbourne

What to do when sober

More ideas of what to do and how to have fun when sober.

What do sober people do for fun?

Sober Fun. What to do when not drinking.

What Do Sober People Do?!

150 things to do instead of drinking

Less Talk. More Doing

Young People in Recovery

This is a story about a young man who got sober when he was 17 and has been sober for 11 years. He describes what recovery means to him and what recovery has given him

Best Sober Cities.

Looking for the best environment for young people in recovery?

http://www.thefix.com/content/10-best-sober-living-cities#slide0

Need Help?

Young, sober, and lonely? Find support and realize that you're not the only young person in recovery. Check out a local NA or AA meeting. Remember you are not alone!

http://meetings.intherooms.com/

Find Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and other 12-Step Fellowship Meetings around the world. The most comprehensive list of 12-Step meetings in the world.

http://www.na.org/

Find info about young people in recovery from drug addiction and see what the program of Narcotics Anonymous has to offer.

http://www.aa.org/

Find info about young people in recovery from alcoholism and see what the program of Alcoholics Anonymous has to offer.

http://www.sobernation.com/

Find treatment centers and other online resources for the young, struggling, alcoholic and addict.

Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful.

"I just got tired of being sick and tired and feeling down. Unfortunately, you don't realize this until you're getting sober but the reason why you're depressed all the time is it's the drugs that are depressing you."

-Steven Adler

Remembering the pain.

Many people have told me if you want to stay sober, never forget that last drink because you will never want to go back to that pain again. I've also heard the timeless saying "we will not regret the past nor will we shut the door on it." So, I'm getting the message that keeping the past present is a helpful tool to staying sober. So, how do I do that?

The first few months of sobriety I stayed sober or actually dry, only because I was scared of going back to where I came from. The pain was fresh in my mind. The feelings associated with that last drink haunted me and I thought these were feelings I could never forget. But, I have an alcoholic mind and my brain distorts memories. In my experience fear will only keep you sober for so long. Eventually, no matter how hard you try you wont be able to relive those feelings you felt during that last drink. That pain, misery, and guilt will be impossible to recall and if you do remember those feelings they will be less intense.

I can distinctly remember what I was doing and the events that took place during my last debacle. But, sometimes I have trouble bringing back those feelings.  Therefore the question is, how does one recall that pain without reliving it?

Well, here's what has worked for me. I do my best to reach out to newcomers. I continue to visit halfway houses where there are people who have just gotten out of treatment and are attempting to handle life on life's terms, or life on God's terms. When asked, I bring meetings into treatment centers and detoxes. This way I get to witness people who are going through the pain I went through. I can see the desperation in their eyes. In turn, even though I'm there to help bring a message to them it also helps me remember how I felt when first getting sober.

Also, I consistently rely on my higher power to remind me of where I came from. If I feel like I'm getting off course, becoming complacent, or just taking things for granite I ask my HP for some help. I ask him, it, or whoever's up there to remind me of the places I've come from and the pain and struggle I've been through. Without fail, I'm reminded in some way of the torment and torture I've endured and how far away I am from the next drink; an arms length.

In my opinion staying in the present and not living in the past or future is necessary if one wishes to acquire any serenity. But, in order to stay sober it is imperative to remind yourself of where you came from. Never forgetting the pain of that last drink has helped with my gratitude and improved my overall outlook on life. These are just a few ways of how I remember where I came from without having to experience that agony myself. What works for you?

Money - The root of all evil

Money is good. One needs money to survive. Money can be used for therapists, rent, food, gas, coffee, amends, etc. All of those are good things and reasons why one needs money to survive. But, what happens when money becomes more than something to help you live comfortably? What happens when money becomes more than something to help you meet your basic needs?

Many addicts that I’ve seen come into sobriety and get a simple job that provides them with a steady paycheck. Over time many addicts learn how to use their funds responsibly. However, I’ve also seen individuals in early sobriety start to use money as their higher power.

Why can money be detrimental in sobriety? Money can bring out character defects such as gluttony, greed, self-centeredness, and selfishness. This can be extremely dangerous especially if someone hasn’t had a chance to work on themselves.  Money can be a huge distraction because it can often give an individual a high very similar to drug use. Instead of focusing on their health and program they can easily get distracted in chasing the high that money gives you. But, just like a tolerance is developed with drugs, a tolerance can be developed with money too. Over time people who chase that high that money brings need more and more money to get the same feeling they did when they first started acquiring it. Money can fill that void that many addicts have been filling with drugs for so long.  In turn, when the money runs out they’re left just as empty as they were when the drugs were gone.  

Many times I’ve seen people meet their immediate goal and get more money, but over time lose sight of their ultimate goal…staying sober. They stop going to meetings, stop reaching out, and stop working a program. So, when they get tired of buying new things or when the money runs out, they realize that the void is still inside them and turn back to their only solution… drugs.  And, why did they get the job in the first place? Usually, to provide them with a little structure or rent to help them stay sober and away from drugs.  

Everyone feels good with a little money in their pocket but, addicts have to be extremely careful because too much of a good thing can lead to relapse. Money’s good in moderation but too much money can ruin one’s life.  It’s all about balance. In my experience money can never provide long term happiness. 

Support Groups

Support groups are valuable whether you are in recovery or not. But, a solid support group in recovery is indispensable.

Why get a good support group? A support group can call you on your own nonsense. Support groups can help you when you're down, help you get through the tough road ahead, and be there to run ideas by. A slogan often thrown around in the rooms is "first thought wrong". However, for me, I often find that my first 3 thoughts are wrong. But, the way I get through that is by constantly voicing my ideas to other people to get outside opinions. I've accepted my minds diluted with the disease of addiction. Therefore, I've accepted most ideas and conclusions that I come to by myself are usually false or at least distorted. When I run my ideas by a support group of good people I become aware of where my mind is playing tricks on me.

Another great reason to get a support group is to have more opportunities to help people. In order to stay sober I know I need to give away what I've received so freely. Everyone struggles. And, when you have a good support group around you not only do you have people that can get you through tough situations, you get a chance to help other people with their problems. For me, helping others is a sure way to get out of myself and I find that's usually my problem, I'm absorbed in myself.

Support groups also help you feel sane and normal. Many times I've been in situations where I felt alone and felt that I was going through something no one else could possibly relate to. However, when I talked about my situation to my support group almost all of them had been through the same thing or were going through it at the time.

Recently, I've found myself in my head and that's never a good place to be. Staying in or out of your head could be the difference between life or death for an alcoholic. Luckily, I've been relying on my support group to keep me sane and they really do help restore my sanity on a daily basis. I am so grateful for my support group I don't know where I would be without it

Dating in Recovery

Having been in and around the rooms for a little while I heard all the suggestions. Ninety meetings in ninety days, get a sponsor, work the steps, get a homegroup, stay out of relationships...etc. Like many, I am not a white chip wonder, so each time I  relapsed I would come back and take another one of these suggestions and try staying sober. This last time trying to get sober and stay sober I had tried everything but working the steps and staying out of relationships for the 1st year so I took both suggestions. Needless to say I'm still sober.

After working the steps and doing everything I needed to do in order to make a good foundation for my recovery, I started wishing I had a woman in my life. But, I had faith in my higher power and knew that when the time was right he would put one in my life. A month or so later I happened to hang out with a woman who I had seen around and developed a crush on over 8 months ago. I was surprised, delighted, excited, and nervous all at the same time. I got her number and started to talk to her periodically and eventually I got the courage up to ask her out on a date. She said yes. But, not only did she have a lot more sober time than I did, she was also significantly older than me. In turn, I was very intimidated before I even asked her out. Also, this was the first time dating without the crutch of alcohol and drugs. The first date was a wreck. Well, I guess it couldn't of gone that terribly because I did get a second date. However, on the inside I was a disaster. I couldn't slow down my racing thoughts. I was so nervous about what she thought of me that I was over analyzing my every move. The whole time I was physically present, but my mind was 3 hours or sometimes even 3 months in the future! It provided a lot of extra stress in my life not only when going out on the date with her but after it too. After the first few dates with this woman I realized that I did care about her but I was obsessing over her and starting to focus on her more than I was on myself and my program. Luckily, I have a great support group that called me out and helped me get out of my own head. 

Since then I've went on a few dates and it gets a little easier each time. But, I've accepted that dating and having relationships in recovery is something that will always give me anxiety even with a strong program and faith in my higher power. Looking back on my dating experiences I see why no relationships for the first year is such a good suggestion. I started dating and investing my time in building a relationship with a woman with a small amount of time under my belt and I still almost drove myself insane. I couldn't imagine what It would of been like trying to forge a relationship when I was new in recovery. My advice? Stick with yourself for a little bit because the more comfortable you are with yourself the more comfortable you can be with someone else. But, its still going to be tough no matter how much time you have....dating is awkward. 

Trials and Tribulations

As I silently judge my peers on Facebook I notice that the majority of my friends not in sobriety are miserable, or at least seem to be miserable judging by their Facebook statuses. I start thinking to myself man, I wish everyone could experience the joys of sobriety. I wish everyone could be rocketed into this 4th dimension of existence. To feel God's presence in all aspects of life is a feeling that's indescribable.

Today I have a way to conquer all of my problems. I have found a solution. I have found faith that can get me through anything.  But, then I remember us alcoholics/addicts are given this gift because of the Hell we went through. I have accepted my past. Even though I am not proud of the majority of it I understand I had to experience that torture and feel that pain so I could see where substances lead. I am a firm believer that until you are ready and you accept your bottom you're not going to be able to put your all into this program. And, as they say "half measures avail us nothing." So, as much as I wish everyone could have this solution and experience this way of life, I realize that in order to achieve this serenity they would have had to travel through Hell as we all did; and I wish that upon no one. Today I am grateful for my trials and tribulations and am able to look upon this disease of addiction as a blessing.

Thank God for struggles. 

The Power of Music

The power music can have is something that never ceases to amaze me. Music can alter a mood. Music can stop a fight. Music can save a life. Music has helped me numerous times when I felt I was on the brink of insanity. I would be going nuts, on the verge of drinking, and I would sit down and put on my headphones and all of my problems got lost in the music. 

When I listen to music it helps me sort through my thoughts and get out of myself. Music can add fuel to the fire or help calm me. When I was first getting sober I thought there was no way to experience the fun I thought I had in active addiction. I remember the first few times I went out on a Friday night. I was scared that I wasn't going to have fun and I would become frustrated and end up relapsing. But, I had the most fun I had in years and the thing I remember about those nights most clearly was the effect music had on me. We played loud music on a way to a coffee shop and it was the first time something lifted my spirits besides drugs in a long while. The way music can sometimes completely determine my mood blows me away. Thank God for music and the effect it has.

Meditation

Meditation is something I could never picture myself doing. My thoughts fly around so fast I just assumed I would be stuck with my thinking my whole life. The only solution to my racing thoughts was drugs and alcohol and when I gave that up I was at a loss. I remember in early recovery I would get really frustrated because I couldn't quiet my mind. However, I surrounded myself with a strong support group and voiced my frustration to them constantly.They continued to give me the same suggestion over and over again. Meditation. But, as soon as I envisioned me meditating my mind immediately snapped shut to this theory. I just pictured a negative outcome. 

One day I decided to take the suggestion after realizing my best efforts had failed miserably. I sat down and tried to focus on my breathing just as one of my friends suggested. It was incredibly tough at first. I have an alcoholic mentality which means I want everything when I want it. I focused on my breath for maybe 2 minutes. I then got frustrated and gave up. However, I did notice I was a tiny bit more serene then I had been when I started. This gave me hope. Over time I continued to try and meditate when I felt I was on the brink of insanity. But, sure enough, it worked every time.

Meditating has now become a staple in my recovery. I'm not perfect at meditating, if there is such a thing, but I'm steadily improving. I went from meditating once a week for 2 minutes to meditating at least once a day for anywhere from 10-20 minutes. I now try to rely on meditation to calm my racing thoughts, replace my fear with faith, and help me take a step back from situations that baffle me. Meditating has saved me many times from acting out on my will, helped me realize numerous things about myself, and helped me get closer to my God. Meditating always saves me when I'm up in my head and the only way I got better is with a little practice.