Three Stages of Relapse, Part One

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Today I’m going to write more about relapse signs and prevention, because it’s such a vital topic. One of the biggest warning signs of relapse is complacency. If you think you’re safe and secure in your recovery, then you’re actually someone who can really benefit from thinking about the risks of relapse.

One thing I think needs to change about people’s attitudes in recovery is the feeling that “relapse” is a dirty word. People shouldn’t be afraid to talk about relapse. It’s almost as though we’re afraid to bring up the topic of relapse because we fear doing so could actually instigate a relapse. In reality, it’s quite the opposite. Having an open conversation about a scary topic is the best way to deal with it. Ignoring the possibility of relapse only ensures everyone is unprepared to deal with the inevitable. It’s like avoiding the topic of sex with your teenage daughter because you don’t want her to have it, and then being shocked and appalled when she gets pregnant.

There are three broad stages of relapse. The first stage of relapse is emotional. The second stage of relapse is mental. The third stage of relapse is physical.

The emotional stage of relapse is the trickiest to identify, but it’s also the most critical. When you stop asking for help, begin isolating yourself, and start letting your emotions get the best of you, then you are relapsing emotionally. You have mood swings, get defensive, and start letting your sleeping and eating habits get out of whack. You stop going to meetings or therapy. You are not thinking about using, but it’s only a matter of time before those thoughts cross your mind as a way to deal with your emotions. It’s so important to recognize when you’re in the emotional stage, because it’s actually the easiest to deal with.

When you start to think or obsess about using drugs or alcohol, you are in the mental stage of relapse, and you’re in much more dangerous territory. You start lying to your support system, and you start fantasizing about your past and using. When you are actively considering the possibility of using drugs or alcohol, it’s imperative that you get help right away.

If you have not gotten help by the time you’re in the mental stage of relapse, you will end up in the physical stage of relapse, which means you’ve begun to use again. I want to stress here that the physical stage of relapse is still a stage; it is not the end. The common stigma in the recovery community that physical relapse means failure is something I am strongly opposed to. Physical relapse does not mean you’ve failed at recovery or that your recovery is over. It means that you are in urgent, immediate need of help to stop using. If you do not get help to stop, you will eventually find yourself back in the full throes of active addiction, and the further you go, the harder it is to get back.

To be continued…

Lisa M. Hann is a freelance writer and author who specializes in addiction recovery. She holds a B.A. in Journalism from Temple University. She resides in New Jersey with her son. She has been sober since 2010 and is a Caron PA alum. She is the author of "How to Have Fun in Recovery" and "365 Ways to Have Fun Sober" (available in the Kindle store).