Once you’ve learned to identify the three stages of relapse, it’s time to learn about how to deal with them. There are many techniques for preventing relapse, and I’m going to talk about some of the best. While I’m going to separate techniques by stages, there’s a lot of overlap. For example, one of the most critical things you can do to prevent relapse at any stage is to ask for help.
I think a lot of the time people in recovery are afraid to ask for help with relapse prevention because they don’t want others to think they’re slipping or failing. Maybe we don’t want to alarm our support system over a “small” problem, but we shouldn’t be afraid to admit we’re struggling. The best thing you can do is to ask for help as soon as you notice any of the warning signs of relapse - not wait until the “small” problem is even more noticeable.
Other times I think people in recovery don’t ask for help because they don’t think there’s anything anyone else can do to help them - that it’s a personal problem we have to deal with on our own. Most of the time that’s true, but it doesn’t mean support isn’t needed or beneficial. Just venting your concerns to someone else can make a significant difference. “Asking for help” doesn’t have to mean “asking for a solution;” it’s often just asking for someone to listen or offer a new perspective.
When you’re in the emotional stage of relapse, the best way to cope is to take better care of yourself. If you’re feeling stressed out, it’s time to take a step back and see what you can do to decrease the amount of stress you feel or learn to deal with it in a healthier way. You need to recognize your emotions and remember that they’re just feelings and that you’re in control of them - not the other way around. Eating properly, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising are also vital tools in the emotional stage of relapse (and all other times, too!).
In the mental stage of relapse, when you begin to think about using, it’s time for that popular adage of “playing the tape through” to come to use. Remind yourself that while using might seem attractive, it always comes with a downside. Think about the negative effects using would cause in your life. When you have a craving, try to distract yourself or challenge yourself to wait 20 minutes before acting on it because most cravings will disappear in that time frame. It’s also more important than ever to keep yourself away from the “people, places, and things” that you associate with using or would make using easy for you.
Once you’ve crossed into the physical stage of relapse, you need to admit your slip to at least one person you trust in your support system, preferably more. The sooner you get help, the easier it will be to transition back into sobriety. Remember that you are capable of quitting and the benefits of recovery are worth it. You will likely have feelings of guilt and shame to deal with, but you have to face them rather than hide them by continuing to use.
Slips are serious, but they don’t mean you’ve lost everything - the things you’ve learned in recovery are still with you. I think that message is so important, because sometimes people are too concerned with things like clean dates. Recovery doesn’t have to be black and white. Some people relapse multiple times, and they might be in a kind of gray area between being consumed by addiction and being happy in recovery. I’m not saying that relapse is no big deal - just that a relapse doesn’t erase the clean time you’ve already experienced.
Instead of perpetuating the stigma that relapse is failure, I’d like to give my opinion that relapse doesn’t have to be such a scary topic. It’s a potential reality that everyone in recovery needs to be concerned about and informed about. What do YOU think?
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