Remembering the pain.

Many people have told me if you want to stay sober, never forget that last drink because you will never want to go back to that pain again. I've also heard the timeless saying "we will not regret the past nor will we shut the door on it." So, I'm getting the message that keeping the past present is a helpful tool to staying sober. So, how do I do that?

The first few months of sobriety I stayed sober or actually dry, only because I was scared of going back to where I came from. The pain was fresh in my mind. The feelings associated with that last drink haunted me and I thought these were feelings I could never forget. But, I have an alcoholic mind and my brain distorts memories. In my experience fear will only keep you sober for so long. Eventually, no matter how hard you try you wont be able to relive those feelings you felt during that last drink. That pain, misery, and guilt will be impossible to recall and if you do remember those feelings they will be less intense.

I can distinctly remember what I was doing and the events that took place during my last debacle. But, sometimes I have trouble bringing back those feelings.  Therefore the question is, how does one recall that pain without reliving it?

Well, here's what has worked for me. I do my best to reach out to newcomers. I continue to visit halfway houses where there are people who have just gotten out of treatment and are attempting to handle life on life's terms, or life on God's terms. When asked, I bring meetings into treatment centers and detoxes. This way I get to witness people who are going through the pain I went through. I can see the desperation in their eyes. In turn, even though I'm there to help bring a message to them it also helps me remember how I felt when first getting sober.

Also, I consistently rely on my higher power to remind me of where I came from. If I feel like I'm getting off course, becoming complacent, or just taking things for granite I ask my HP for some help. I ask him, it, or whoever's up there to remind me of the places I've come from and the pain and struggle I've been through. Without fail, I'm reminded in some way of the torment and torture I've endured and how far away I am from the next drink; an arms length.

In my opinion staying in the present and not living in the past or future is necessary if one wishes to acquire any serenity. But, in order to stay sober it is imperative to remind yourself of where you came from. Never forgetting the pain of that last drink has helped with my gratitude and improved my overall outlook on life. These are just a few ways of how I remember where I came from without having to experience that agony myself. What works for you?